Outbound: try saying it when you're drunk

• Anyone who's entered a cocktail competition knows how hard naming a drink is. Apparently, that makes a subject worthy of the New York Times.
• If there's one thing bartenders love, it's setting things on fire. Unfortunately, in the 21st Century, that might get you sued - or arrested.
• The not-strictly-bar-related section: Apple juice improve behaviour in Alzheimer's sufferers; How to fuel a city; If you're going to the World Cup, you better be supporting the right beer (and not misusing your personal allocation of free tickets).
• Who invented the cocktail? Clue: it's not who you think it is. Also, Wondrich has new book coming out.

Outbound: Hallmark Holidays?

• If there's an Administrative Professionals' Day, then we're damn well having a World Gin Day.
• For those of us who aren't able to make overseas events like the Manhattan Cocktail Classic, Cocktail Spirits 2010 or Tales of the Cocktail, there's Imbibe 2010 in London in July. Big plus: it's free.
• Competition deadlines are looming for next year's 42 Below Cocktail World Cup and the chance to be Licor 43's UK brand ambassador.
• Beer links - Lebanese microbreweries; Central American beer, c. 1400BC.
• Scotch whisky: Scotland's third biggest export and cornerstone of the economy - according to a report commissioned by the Scottish Whisky Association, naturally. (Via @mixthestir.)

Two men enter, one man leaves

By "men", I mean multi-national corporations, and by "enter the Thunderdome", I mean "argue about the future of distilling in the US Virgin Islands" through that most honourable of mediums -  the press release.

It all kicked off with a missive from Diageo North America snappily titled Bacardi, World's Largest Recipient of Public Rum Subsidies, Leads Hidden Campaign to Drive Rum Competitor out of the United States and Destroy the Economy of the U.S. Virgin Islands. It's the kind of title that suggests they're not going to attempt a shocking third-act twist ending. Of course, these kinds of claims can't go unanswered, but Bacardi seem to have come as possibly to not answering while still answering: their response runs to a whole three sentences. They didn't even go for a Governor Schwarzenegger style metatextual comment on their opponent. Shame.

Anyway, let's have a good clean fight. Nothing below the belt, and stay away from the eyes. C'mon, at least try.

[Via Olly Wehring / Just-drinks.com]

The distant future. The year 2000.

San Francisco is famous for many things. Being hilly. Car chases. The Golden Gate Bridge. The 49ers. Its place in future history as the cradle of the robotic uprising that will supplant humanity as the dominant lifeform on Earth.

You didn't hear about the last one? Last week saw the 2010 edition of Barbot, with inorganic bartenders from all over the world displayed in San Francisco. Billed as a "celebration of cocktail culture and man-machine interface", the event's into its third year, drawing coverage from Laughing Squid and Wired.

BarBot 2010 by Laughing Squid on Flickr.

The artificial bartender is an old standby in training in hospitality. Why, the question goes, do we hire people to bartend? A vending machine - or a robot - won't ever be late, won't screw the stock result, won't short the till and won't demand cigarette breaks or busy days off. What's the benefit of using fleshy sacks of humanity? According to Wired's Priya Ganapti:

[T]he robots still have a long way to go. The cocktails taste just a little too clinical. There's a missing ingredient in there. Could that be the human touch?